Genre : Fantasy/Slice of Life Format : E-book Pages : 478 Published : 2023

“Why wait for rescue , when we could rescue ourselves ,”

Summary : Let us meet Luke Smith . He is a good looking but slightly scarred Army veteran finally out of the military , joined by his pet dog Rocky . He is excited because he is going to be meeting up with his fiance , or at least he was but he gets to the airport and she doesn’t show . Turns out she decided to break up with him over the phone . Well damn , not a great start to the Christmas season but he decides to make the most of it by going to the local tourist holiday spot that he was originally planning on going to with his lover anyways . Then disaster strikes again , his car gets stuck in the snow on the way there . Things aren’t all bad though , Rocky sees a village nearby and leads Luke toward it . He gets there and it turns out to be a Christmas themed town with the locals in elaborate Christmas elf costumes and is almost entirely women . Or at least he thinks it’s all costumes because it turns out the guy accidentally walked into another dimension filled with actual Christmas elves and these elves have a problem . You see , they need a human male to become king so they can have babies ( hey I didn’t make the rules ) but they also know that humans tend to scare easily so they decide to pretend that they are pretending to be elves … hijinks ensue !

“I would have thought they would have sent a Dwarf , but I suppose an Orc will do.”

Review : I’m going to say this real quick , I don’t really read a lot of slice of life books . The pacing usually comes off as too slow and not a whole lot tends to happen . That’s not a problem with this book however as the plot actually kicks off pretty quickly and manages to keep my attention . Part of it is the fantasy setting , another is the fun if not serious story , and of course enough spicy scenes to populate a small country . The book also nails the Christmas vibe for the most part creating this weird but enjoyable balance between erotica and wholesomeness . So I recommend it to anyone who wants a relaxing read this Christmas season .

“And your ears are pointy . They look quite cute on you . I apologize for waking you , you better get back to bed , “

Recommendations : Books

1. The Ghost by Danielle Steele
2. Kink by Kathe Koja
3. Wagner , the Wehr-Wolf by George W.M. Reynolds
4. The Midwich Cuckoos by John Wyndham
5. Tangled Moon by Darcy Branwyn
6. Why I Married A Clown Girl from the Dimension of Death by Carlton Mellick III
7. Atomic Wasteland ! by Tabitha Lovelace
8. Two Coffins for Slocum by Jake Logan
9. The Wicked , Wicked Women by Gardner Fox
10. Violin by Anned Rice

Songs

1. I’ll Be Home for Christmas – Bing Crosby
2. Blue Christmas – Elvis Presley
3. The King of Kings – Motorhead
4. Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice
5. Mambo number 5 – Lou Bega
6. Last Christmas – Wham
7. Sitting on the dock of the bay – Otis Redding
8. Soldier Boy – The Shirelles
9. Warm Ride – Bee Gees
10. Superman – Eminem

Movies

1. History of the World Part 1 (1981)
2. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (1964)
3. The Santa Claus 3 (2006)
4. How the Grinch Stole Christmas ! (1966)
5. Santa Claus Is Coming to Town (1970)
6. Jingle All the Way (1996)
7. The Chronicles of Narnia : The Lion , The Witch , and the Wardrobe (2005)
8. A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)
9. A Princess for Christmas (2011)
10. Merry Fucking Christmas (1998)

Lesson : It’s good to be the King .